by Brian Stankus

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(free) 02:49
(free) 02:43


released August 26, 2011

all songs written and performed by Brian Stankus
recorded by Brian Stankus at home
mastered by John Naclerio at Nada Recording in New Windsor, NY
all album art by Peter Mannka



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Brian Stankus Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: immanuel
i let a teddy bear in my living room
now he's tearing up the furniture
the national guard is walling off the street
so us drunkards don't get trampled by the runners
i heard it's easier
for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven on his own accord
exterminate, but can't create
they won't let it be in this place
Track Name: 416
i'm a walking cliche
caffeine and nicotine and skinny jeans
my friends say
don't cut your hair, you'll lose your identity
but who i am's not who i'm trying to be
i'm a creature in the center of the street
i'm headed in a direction i can't see
put me on the quickest path to safety
cause i want to be a warm presence now
and i'm a sallow cavalcade
paraded and led by the hand
cause i can't keep them by my side
i'm always pushing or pulling
lead me along and guide me
cause that's what i need
Track Name: veterans
i'm wearing slippers in public again
i think it's i've been listening to too much elliott smith
i'm daydrinking by the common
watching veterans marching for never marching again
cause they've seen what that can do to a kid
and they don't want no one to ever go through it
so i meet a friend
she tells me she's too caught up in this to go chasing her own ends
so i tell her what my mother told me
that nothing's as important as it seems
and i keep that with me
at least i try
it's just i find that hard to believe
when i'm walking you back to the station
i nod goodbye like a fool
cause i'm too awkward to hold onto you
but i'll say i'll see you soon
even though i hope that that's not true
i'll stay out of your life now
it's the least i can do
Track Name: get out
i'm viewing the world from in between my fingers
i'm blocking all the bad parts out
but it's never worked quite like a movie
the view here is wider
i know now i've been living all wrong
i've been sulking around my hometown for too long
and i've got to get out of here
each time i come home
i try to keep my eyes closed
cause everything's got your name on it
i'd like to think that i can let you alone
but it's no good convincing anyone
i looked an outlook for my imprint
it's long since faded
it was washed away with the season
and i need a new one
one swallow does not make a spring
but one mistake casts a grand shadow on me
and i've got to step out of it
Track Name: still
it's not about architecture
somehow that's all i can muster now
just some shorter haired sinner
with a head full of mixed ideals
disturb the nest and get bit up good
but blame it on a sickly spread of circumstance
and it's not about reverance
for the people i meet
just some light-haired body double
filling in for one scene
i kick the nest and i get bit up good
but i don't learn a damn thing from my missteps
i never will
Track Name: days
my life in photographs is a summer-long party
but my mind gets tangled up in things that are no good for me
and all these words
they converge to the truth
my old flamed flared up
she singed my eyebrows and scared me off
but there's something in this feeling
i swear
it means more than just some warmth
and all these scenes
they convene to define me
and all these dreams
they inspire unadvisable messages
we are bound to our regrets
but you don't choose what you want
just if you get it
and all these days
they explain the way i've been
and all these waves
they wash over me
make me clean
so i can sleep
Track Name: body
i lost my vision as soon as i got home
i kicked my hindsight as quick as i could afford
i'm pretty sure that this is just self interest
but i've punched out every surrogate support
i need something to hold
but not just anybody
i don't want these arms reaching out for me
cause it's not some body that i dream of
it's just a time and place that held me still
it's a walk at night
it's a cloud of smoke
it's a line you wrote
it's a space in time
it's a feeling i can't find
it's a walk at night, it's a dotted line
Track Name: gold coin
i've got two demons now
one for each bony shoulder
they're gripping tight to me
they dug in with their teeth
but i ignored them
i walked like i felt like a gold coin in a brass city
i'm chasing your red box but the features are all wrong for me
i've got these two scarred hands
from holding things i shouldn't
they warned me i'd get burned
i'm just not so good at listening
but now i know what i am
i'm just an empty cooler holding a puddle of water
a reminder of the good i used to be to you
Track Name: shoulders
i'm surrounded by water
barely on the land
inundated by lunatics grasping for my hand
if i had one hundred shoulders
i'd put them all for rent
but i'm not equipped to do this
i need them to hold up my head
i've graduated to towering over everyone i love
still there's something crowing
trying to wake me up
and i'll say it'll be alright brother
doesn't it just have to
but i'm still stuck lucid dreaming
i know how this looks, i just can't break through
away from you
Track Name: daniel
keep some lightning in a box on a beacon
i shed my blue mask
melted in wax
traded for yellow
i'm pushing off old scales
and lapping up new poison
there's some love that don't die
we just blur our sights or close our eyes
keep some feeling on a dock by the water
there's things we won't say
but can watch float away
while the wind blows us over
we're covering our skin
and tossing all of our colors in
cause there's some love the don't die
we just hold tight and survive